New project launching "esl4moms"

As I move through the years of my life and my career as an ESL instructor, my professional focus evolves as well. In the past 4 years I have welcomed into my life my two daughters, Adrianna 3 and Amelie 1. I have learned to expand my heart and my energy in more ways than I thought imaginable. In this brief time, I have learned that women who become mothers need a special kind of support -one that is nurturing.  Just as they nurture their little ones, moms also must be made to feel special. They need encouragement to make their needs just as important as their children's needs. Sometimes they need a gentle reminder of who they are deep inside, and sometimes all they need is someone to listen. Moms also need to feel that their dreams and goals are still within reach.

Where do I come in? My job is two-fold: first, as an English instructor, to help moms communicate to their satisfaction in English in a comfortable, supportive environment. Next, as a coach, to listen to each mom's story as she takes the special journey of motherhood, and to be understanding to the challenges she faces as she tries to balance everything in her life. If she desires to make changes, I will guide her to listen to her heart. That's where her love for herself and her family reside and that's where all 'right' decisions come from.

If you'd like to visit my site, please go to http://www.esl4moms.webs.com/
- I also have begun a blog on this site. Thanks!

Language reveals a lot!

Language, or specifically the words that make up a phrase, can reveal the attitude or perspective of a culture. And the attitude shown refelcts the values that are important to a culture. In America, for example, there is a 'can do spirit', an importance put on achieving goals, even aggressively, if needed. In a book called Working with Americans: How to build profitable business relationships, authors Allyson Stewart-Allen and Lanie Denslow give some examples of expressions that show the American attitude:

"Run for office" - this phrase expresses that the politician desires to achieve the post so much that he or she will run as if running in a race to win.

"What goes around, comes around." - This means that each individual has the power to influence another, so use your power wisely. Your bad or good behavior will eventually come back to meet you!

Here are a few I have thought about:

"Just do it." - a classic Nike ad that demostrates Americans' willingness to take risks, even big ones, to achieve higher and higher goals.

"Go for it." - similar to "Just do it".

"You can't win if you don't play." - This phrase is often used when talking about the lottery. It's a common desire to win the lottery, but you will never win if you don't buy a ticket. The phrase can also mean that if you don't take a risk to do the action required, you won't achieve the end result.

The last comment I want to make is to all of the people who wonder why American English has so many expressions from sports. The answer: Americans put a big emphasis on winning, or achieving, just as athletes focus on winning the game, achieving the championship!

Your Own Unique Style

The general notion of individualism is the separation of an individual from the group, in thought and action. In America, an individual’s personal interests, style of dress, and accomplishments are very important. Americans make decisions on clothes, activities, and their general lifestyle in order to express who they uniquely are– this is what makes them individuals. They can choose to be they way they want to be and do not have to abide by the rules of a larger group, such as their family or friends. Each person has his or her own separate existence in life and in society, and is thus allowed to make choices solely based on his or her behalf. This notion or belief in the “individual self” is reflected throughout American society.

Let's look at individualism in childhood. When children are old enough to talk, they can make requests of their parents for certain games, toys and clothes. Parents allow children to dress according to their own desires even as early as 3 years old. Often times, children choose their clothes for school and go shopping for clothing with their parents before they are old enough to go to school.

In the United States, kids have many choices when it comes to buying clothes…a variety of styles, fabrics, and qualities exist. A child might prefer baggy shorts and oversized t-shirts or polo shirts with slacks. Clothing stores for both adults and children offer a variety styles from preppy to grunge, sporty to professional. Stores like the Gap, Abercrombie and Fitch and American Apparel are all stores that offer a casual, high quality style of clothing that cater to people who want their own “American style”.

Kerry – a woman with her own style

Kerry, an American woman, had gone on a few dates with Antonio, a Hispanic man. One evening, when Antonio arrived to pick up Kerry, he noticed that she was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a sweatshirt tied around her waist. Antonio, on the other hand, was dressed in dress slacks and a dress shirt. When Kerry was ready to go, she got her purse and headed for the front door. Then Antonio said:

Antonio: “Aren’t you going to change?”

Kerry: “This is what I’m wearing.” Kerry pointed to her outfit.

Antonio: “Don’t you think you should put on a dress? We’re going to a nice restaurant.”

Kerry: “I feel comfortable dressed this way.” “Plus, the restaurant doesn’t have a dress code. A lot of people go there with jeans on.”

Antonio: “Ok, but you don’t need to wear that sweatshirt around your waist. It doesn’t look good there. I can carry it for you.”

Kerry: “No thanks. I’m fine. This is the way I like to dress.”

Antonio: “Ok, fine. Let’s go then.”

Looking at this conversation, we see a potential for a big argument, but in the end, Antonio accepted that Kerry had her own style of dressing that she wanted to keep. As an individual, she felt it was her choice to dress the way she wanted.

There is a general acceptance of each person’s unique style of dressing in the US. For example, in some countries, dressing in bright colors such as yellow and orange are not common. In the US, however, it is not strange to see a person wearing a black t-shirt with bright yellow shorts, for instance. Yes, there are certain styles that are more popular in society and others that are not, but the tolerance for everything in between is high. If a person chooses not to follow the current fashion trends and dress according to his own desires, he might be respected for doing so. Having a unique style different from others is admired.

Values and communication: You can't have one without the other.

Geert Hofstede, in Culture's Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviors, Institutions and Organizations Across Nations, defines a value as a "broad tendency to prefer certain states of affairs over others." For example, if I value practicality, I will most likely value it over its opposite, frivality. Therefore, if I have some money to spend, I will most likely choose to spend it on something I need rather than something I only want.  So, I set a priority in my mind, based on the value I choose. If I choose to be practical, it is more important to spend my money to replace my dishwasher, which is broken, rather than to spend it on the beautiful dress I saw two months ago, that I really want!

If we are going to have meaningful communication with people in our business and personal relationships, our communication will inevitably involve our values. Communication is the exchange of messages (information we want to share with another person). We communicate our values (our priorities) in emails, conversations, speeches, reports, advertisements, and virtually all forms of messages, even art.

A couple of days ago, I had an appointment scheduled for 10:00 am, but when I woke up in the morning, both of my children were sick. As I called to re-schedule my appointment, I felt embarassed for the short notice of the cancellation, so I apologized several times. I said, "I really apologize for cancelling at the last minute. My kids are both sick." The man I had the appointment with acted relaxed and not worried. He said, "No problem." It seemed as though he didn't even want to hear my reason - he just accepted that something else came up that was more important.

Then, when I saw him for our appointment a couple of days later, I apologized again. I said, "I'm really sorry I had to cancel the other day." He again made light of it.

Later on, after reflecting on my embarassment, I realized that I had put such a big priority on keeping to my schedule. So, I valued my schedule highly - my appointments.  I also assumed that other people valued their schedules highly. However, the man I had the appointment with did not put such a big priority on the schedule. He was much more flexible and positive about the cancellation. In the end, I realized that what I choose to value may not be what another chooses.

So, let's continue to understand how we communicate our values to others.

Any comments are greatly appreciated.

Small Planet Studio

Small Planet Studio is a great place to learn more about culture. Check it out!

http://smallplanetstudio.com/

You're so money!

Have you seen the latest trailer for the show "Selling New York?" It's a show on HGTV about real estate brokers in Manhattan who sell million-dollar properties. They face tough competition. I guess this makes the show exciting. The ad on tv about the show says, "It's so money!".

According to an online dictionary I linked to here, the expression means "hip, stylish, cool". So, because New York is such a trendsetting place, with the latest in fashion, art and entertainment, including fancy apartments, it must be so desirable, that it's "cool" or "money" as the slang expression goes.

I also saw a book listed on Amazon.com called "She's so Money": 
http://www.amazon.com/Shes-So-Money-Cherry-Cheva/dp/0061288535

It's a teen romantic comedy published two years ago about a 17-year-old who is very smart in school and a very high achiever. Even though she makes mistakes, she learns to do what is right, so in the end everything works out fine and she can still be called "cool" or "money".

The expression "You're money" came from a movie called Swingers from 1996. According to Wiki Quote:
Swingers is a 1996 comedy that follows insecure Mike and smooth-talking Trent, two retro-hip showbiz wanna-bes, as they make the scene at various clubs in Hollywood and Vegas.

So, have any of you ever heard anyone use this expression in an ordinary conversation? If so, I'm interested in knowing about it!

As always, I appreciate your comments.

American Comforts and Conveniences 
According to Gary Althen, author of the book American Ways, Americans like their comforts and conveniences.

Here is a list of some of the things Americans like that make life a little easier or more comfortable:

1. Baby changing tables in several restaurants, bookstores, and other public businesses.

2. Drive- through bins at libraries, where you go to drop off library books (also drive-throughs at pharmacies, banks, and post offices).

3. Sofas, chairs, beds, cushions, and towels that are very big and very soft.

4. Microwave cooking directions included on most types of food packages.

5. Water filters on kitchen faucets and water softeners on shower heads.


A few days ago, I was reading an article about how national culture determines how much comfort or convenience one desires. The example was the lack of centralized heating in most houses in Mexico. The reason was that when most Mexicans have to choose what to spend their money on, they would choose to spend it on making the house look nice, for example by installing hardwood flooring. And they would choose to save money on something like heating by wearing heavy clothes inside their houses when it's cold.

Let me just say that, in my opinion, most Americans are just not that way. We like to be comfortable. That's why we have carpet :)

Recently, I have been thinking about comfort and convenience. Here's my dilemma: I have two small children who drop a lot of drinks and food on the floor, so I am looking to buy a light vacuum for my floors. I have been looking at two types: a small hand vacuum and a long stick vacuum. The issue for me is low price vs. convenience because the small hand vacuum (which is less convenient) costs around $30.00 whereas the stick vacuum (which is more convenient) costs $99. If I use the hand vac, I will constantly need to bend down to the floor. Sometimes I'm carrying my baby and so it's not easy to bend down, so it's not convenient. On the other hand, with the stick vac I won't have to bend down. I can walk around even while holding my baby. It seems very convenient. So, in my mind I have been debating with myself, trying to decide which one to choose.

So, do you know what I decided?

Well, I want to have convenience (I'm American, right!), so I want the stick vacuum. However, I don't want to pay the expensive price. I also want the most comfort. I want to stand and clean, not bend down and clean.

So, what's my answer?

I'm going to shop around until I find a stick vacuum on sale (or clearance, even better!). 

Thanks for reading! I would appreciate any comments you have----Maria