Open Communication

When communicating with Americans, it's important to understand how their values influence their style of communication. In general, Americans value being honest and literal. They will tend to directly state what they want and how they feel. They encourage all people involved in the conversation to 'speak up'. Like the famous Nike motto says, "Just do it!" In general, Americans don't care to use more formal styles of gaining respect and trust first. The concept of 'losing face' doesn't go so deeply in American culture. This causes a very noticeable contrast with many other cultures, especially Asian cultures. Other cultures have a certain protocol for building trust and respect, and the honest part of communication comes once this bond has been created. Until this bond is not comfortably established, foreigners might hesitate to honestly express to Americans how they feel and what their intentions are. There is a level of comfort that foreigners need to have with others in order for them to open up and naturally express themselves.

Since Americans naturally reach this comfort level sooner, they don't see it as a big problem. However, if they are not made aware, they may never know that there is this discomfort for foreigners. Once they are made aware, they may say, "Oh, I had no idea! I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable." If you are a foreigner working with Americans, what can you do to reach this comfort level?

First, you need to understand that it is not a weakness on your part. Through socialization and education in your culture, you have learned how to be a competent communicator in your native culture and language.

Next, let the Americans you work with know that there is a difference in communication styles between your cultures, documented in many research studies. Don't be afraid to say that it takes some time for you to get to know others. This is a wonderful quality to have! If you honestly say this, most Americans will respect your honesty and you will gain more trust with them. In addition, most Americans will respect you for having the courage to speak what's on your mind. American culture values 'freedom of speech' and independent thinking. You are definitely entitled to your own feelings.

There is no perfect moment to express your intentions or feelings. If the American you are speaking with is being open with you, you make ask a question such as, "Why do you feel that way?" Asking a question may help you introduce your own thoughts somewhere in the conversation. If you don't feel comfortable asking questions, become a very good listener. Comments such as "That's good. I understand. Good idea." show that you are appreciating the open communication style of the other person. This may lead to the American asking you for your thoughts on the topic. The moment might be right for you to share. If you feel that the only way for you to express your honest feelings is to 'just do it', then you might start with a sentence like, "I respect your opinions and ideas very much. I would like to discuss one of my ideas."

Remember, when you are learning to have more open communication with Americans, it is easier to start with private conversations with just one other person. Later, when you become more comfortable, you can learn to express yourself more easily in a group conversation.