Values and communication: You can't have one without the other.

Geert Hofstede, in Culture's Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviors, Institutions and Organizations Across Nations, defines a value as a "broad tendency to prefer certain states of affairs over others." For example, if I value practicality, I will most likely value it over its opposite, frivality. Therefore, if I have some money to spend, I will most likely choose to spend it on something I need rather than something I only want.  So, I set a priority in my mind, based on the value I choose. If I choose to be practical, it is more important to spend my money to replace my dishwasher, which is broken, rather than to spend it on the beautiful dress I saw two months ago, that I really want!

If we are going to have meaningful communication with people in our business and personal relationships, our communication will inevitably involve our values. Communication is the exchange of messages (information we want to share with another person). We communicate our values (our priorities) in emails, conversations, speeches, reports, advertisements, and virtually all forms of messages, even art.

A couple of days ago, I had an appointment scheduled for 10:00 am, but when I woke up in the morning, both of my children were sick. As I called to re-schedule my appointment, I felt embarassed for the short notice of the cancellation, so I apologized several times. I said, "I really apologize for cancelling at the last minute. My kids are both sick." The man I had the appointment with acted relaxed and not worried. He said, "No problem." It seemed as though he didn't even want to hear my reason - he just accepted that something else came up that was more important.

Then, when I saw him for our appointment a couple of days later, I apologized again. I said, "I'm really sorry I had to cancel the other day." He again made light of it.

Later on, after reflecting on my embarassment, I realized that I had put such a big priority on keeping to my schedule. So, I valued my schedule highly - my appointments.  I also assumed that other people valued their schedules highly. However, the man I had the appointment with did not put such a big priority on the schedule. He was much more flexible and positive about the cancellation. In the end, I realized that what I choose to value may not be what another chooses.

So, let's continue to understand how we communicate our values to others.

Any comments are greatly appreciated.